1-11-11

I want to take this time to thank all of you who came to my brother's memorial service on Jan. 8, 2011. The church was filled with over 400 of his family, friends, and a lot of people who really didn't know him but were there to support the families. To say it was overwhelming is a true understatement.

Father Martin of St. Angela Merici Church did such a wonderful job. My cousin in law, Terri Dainko, made hundreds of purple ribbon pins for people to wear. A Beautiful guitar solo from Jeffrey Richau had so many wanting more of his amazing talent. So many amazing speeches- some planned -some straight from the heart. Service was a bit long- just over 2 hours, but as a dear friend said, "You can't sum Sergio's life up in a short amount of time". I guess she was right.

Unfortunately, the 22 minute slideshow that took me over 2 years to create for the memorial service just couldn't be played.  (I showed Sergio the slideshow- about 99% done at that time) about 6 months ago- he loved it and that's all that matters to me!) There was some problems with the church's DVD system.  Frankly, I feel that since Sergio never really spent more than a couple of hours in a church at one time, he was the "divine intervention" that jammed the player because he wanted everyone to get out and go to the Ebell Club for the reception. Yes, I was very disappointed at first but I believe it was more important to hear the spoken word since we can always get the slideshow up on the internet for all to see. So here it is:  Just click on the link below and it should take you straight to the video site. It's a little soft in the resolution (the real DVD is much sharper) but I think you will get the just of it. I hope I made my brother proud....

Before I go, I just want to thank Kevin and Leslie McCarthy and Jeff and Sherry Frederick for making the reception go so smoothly. Your generosity is beyond belief! 

Click on the link below (let me know if you have any problems with it)-

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1-1-11

(I know this is a bit long but I can't sum up my brother's life in just a few words and he deserves so much more than I can say......love, his sister, Sonia)

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On the morning of December 23, 2010, our Lord and Savoir saw that Sergio had suffered long enough and called him to come home. The ALS disease that had taken his body bit by bit had finally done him in.

Sergio died in his sleep, in his own bed with his wife and kids in the house with him- just as he hoped it would be. We don't know the exact moment of his death but we chose to believe that it was a painless and peaceful passing.

Alyssa had checked in on her sleeping dad around 7am and all was fine. Kelly had checked in on him around 9:30am and he was sleeping ok. Sergio was known to sleep until around 11:30am. Frankie went in around noon to wake him up and knew right away that something was not normal. And that's when they all knew that Sergio's fight had ended.

Just the Saturday before, Sergio and Kelly hosted the DeLuca family Christmas gathering. Most of the family was there along with a few very special friends. The evening was wonderful with lots of kids around and laughter and of course, lots of camera action. Just how Sergio liked things to be. But Sergio hadn't been feeling well for a few days. His body was frail and he got tired easily. But he was determined to have a good time- Smiling all the while. No one knew that less than a week later, Sergio would not be with us any longer.

The day of his passing was rough as you can imagine. But the steady stream of family and close friends was a comfort to us all. Lots of phone calls, emails, etc. came from many people who wanted to send their thoughts and condolences. It was like a giant hug for all of us....

The loss of a loved one is never easy but when it happens around the holidays, well, it makes it a bit more difficult on everyone. But with the holidays comes lots of family gatherings and so we take comfort in being with each other during this time.

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Sergio was a man who loved his family and his friends. He loved the kids soccer games and going to the river to jet-ski. He loved his gardening and his collecting and saving of old items (he has a book of matches that is so old, it doesn't even list the area code for the business's phone number) and he loved elephants. He loved his dog (who passed away a while back) and certainly loved his LA Lakers. He loved to have fun and he loved to make fun. And he loved Jesus and was ready to be with Him and others who have gone before him to heaven.

Sergio wasn't a "church going guy" but he had a deep Catholic faith and belief in God and Jesus. He knew there will be a better life; he just has to wait for his time. Sergio had told me a while back that he had a dream that our dad, Frank, (who died in 1984) had told him that everything would be ok but that it wasn't his time yet. That brought a sense of peace to Sergio. Just a few months ago, he conveyed to me that he dreamt that our dad told him that it won't be long and that his suffering would end. Sergio was hopeful and ready for that moment to come.

ALS destroys the body a little bit at a time until the person is left with just the ability to blink yet leaves the mind totally in tack. A very cruel existence. Some people would be taken back by his decline if you only saw him a few times a year or so. But for those of us who were around Sergio often, even though we saw his physical decline, we seemed to look past that and still see the whole person Sergio still was. Communication was difficult but we still knew what he wanted to say and he still wanted to hear about our lives too.

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Kelly and Sergio were high school sweethearts. Sergio proposed to her at her high school graduation. They bought a home and began their family. They loved going on vacations and hanging out with friends and family. They moved to Corona and began fixing up their home. Kelly and Sergio both worked hard to give their family a wonderful life. And then the day came when the doctor gave them the awful news. Just imagine having  your big strong husband, the father of you kids, the love of your life, slowly robbed of all his functions and there isn't a thing you can do to help but try to make every step as easy or normal as you can. It was not easy in any sense of the word. Of course there were tears and frustrations and adjustments in the beginning. Things seemed to change daily.  Some days were harder than others. What worked yesterday just isn't doing it today. There is no real manual that goes with ALS since every case is different than the next. Kelly worried all the time about Sergio and what he was going through. The stress of his illness brought on medical issues for Kelly too as she began to have seizures, even one while driving which cause her to have an accident and land in the hospital for a few days. A double whammy for the family. But with a lot of help from the family and her doctors, she was able to get the right medications to keep her healthy so she in turn could care for Sergio. Kelly and Sergio seemed to find a right rhythm for them both and were able to spend a lot of time together throughout the past few years. She loved her husband so much and watching her big strong love of her life wither away was hard for her in every way. Yet, she found her strength, through family and friends and a wonderful church, to help Sergio and her kids. She would bring home what she learned and experienced at church and shared it with Sergio, helping him to love and except our Lord that much more. Through her faith that she shared with Sergio, the two of them became closer than ever with each other and with Jesus. With Kelly's help, Sergio was able to accept the Lord's love and the promise of His heavenly plans for him. Towards the end, he may not have been able to say the words but Kelly knew her husband loved her very much. She and Sergio had such a special bond and relationship that can't not be denied or explained. She will always be in love with her high school sweetheart, Sergio.

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Anyone will tell you that the teenage years are challenging at times but add a dying father in the mix and you have a lot on your plate to deal with. Alyssa and Frankie were young teens when Sergio was diagnosed.  The concept of their big strong dad withering away was just an unbelievable concept. But somehow, these two seem to take turns stepping up to the challenges that face them daily. Taking care of a dad who was bigger and taller isn't always easy but between them two; they seemed to get things done. It goes without saying that it was not easy at times but they too learned what to do and how to do it for their dad to make him as comfortable as possible.

When first diagnosed in 2005, he was given a 3-5 year life spam (yet most ALS patients don't seem to make it past 2-3 years). Sergio told me that he just wanted to see Alyssa graduate from high school in 2009. There were times that we just weren't sure if he was going to get that chance but he was so proud to see her in her cap and gown on that June day. And I know she felt blessed to have him there to witness it. Sergio had been Alyssa's soccer coach for many years. Sometimes is hard when your parent is the one coaching your team but Alyssa loved having her dad there all the time- even coaching from a wheelchair. Alyssa loved her dad so much and was there to do her part and take over his care when her mom and brother were busy. She was there to help feed and care for him and with that, Alyssa decided to attend school to become a nurse. Something that was inspired in her from taking such good care of her dad. She has her CNA (Certified Nurse Aide) and her HHA (Home Healthcare Aide). She works as a night CNA in a nursing home taking care of the elderly. Her instructors and employers have mentioned to her mom, Kelly that Alyssa is a natural at taking care of those who are unable to do much for them any longer. Kelly just says that she learned her skills on the best- her dad. Sergio couldn't have been more proud of his little girl. We all feel that with the love and support that her family has given her and the compassion she has felt by taking care of her own dad, Alyssa will be an excellent nurse for many, many years. Alyssa loved her dad so much and he loved her so much too.

For the past few years, Frankie has been at his dad's side daily. Frankie was attending regular high school and just could keep his mind on school- he was constantly thinking of his dad who was at home. He wanted to be there for his dad and help him in anyway he could. So Frankie began Independent Studies at home. His grades went up, he was much happier knowing that he was there whenever his dad needed him and that he could be there for his mom too. He still was able to hang out with his friends in the evenings and after school but as for the daytime/school hours- he was with his dad. Frankie was amazing as he was one of the few people who could understand Sergio when all he could do to communicate was to grunt out his version of words and letters. Frankie knew what his dad was saying every time. Frankie was his dad's legs, arms, and voice. He did as much as he physically could for his dad and Sergio loved him for it. Frankie adored his dad and would always hug and kiss him and tell him he loved him and Sergio adored Frankie too- a very special relationship. Frankie's future plans are are not set not but we know that no matter what he does in life, the spirit of his dad will be with him guiding him every step of the way.

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Sergio worried about his family as most good fathers do. He was afraid that without the ability to walk and talk, he wouldn't be able to guide and parent them as he wanted. But even though near the end, Sergio couldn't move or talk, you knew that those kids respected and listened to their father in every way. I told Sergio once that if he ever felt like he was losing control as head of the household, he should remember this- he is in a wheelchair- unable to move or speak. And yet, when he had to discipline the kids for minor offenses (arguing with each other, coming home late, etc), those kids still did what he said as punishment- usually having to give up their cell phone for a day. They did what their father said every time. Because, Sergio was still the head of the household and still very much their dad. They had great respect for him.

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It had been raining steadily for days. It seemed as if the rains would never stop. The morning of Sergio's passing, the rain started to subside. The skies began to clear, the sun started to come out and  by late afternoon, there was such a beautiful sunset. I believe that the sunset was given to us by Sergio- his way of telling us that all is ok, he is at peace and that our day will come when the sun will shine for us too and we will all be together again.

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I want to thank all of you who have loved and supported Sergio and his family for the past 5+ years. Your prayers and thoughts have been a great comfort. Please continue to pray for Kelly, Alyssa and Frankie. And please, please, never forget Sergio.......

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A memorial service has been set for Saturday January 8, 2011 at 1:00p  at St Angela Merici Church  585 S Walnut Ave, Brea, CA 92821 phone number 714-529-1821

A Celebration of Sergio's life reception will be immediately following at the Ebell Club of Fullerton 313 Laguna Rd, Fullerton, CA 92835

 In lieu of flowers, an Education Fund has been set up his children at Wells Fargo Bank 1396 N. Rose Drive, Placentia Ca 92870 in care of Afton Golden at Wells Fargo. Any questions please call 714-985-9182

for any question, feel free to contact me at sliekhus@pacbell.net

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You may contact Kelly and the kids at Delucaland@yahoo.com or at 819 Donatello Drive, Corona Ca. 92882

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I want to take this time to thank each and every one of my family members for doing as much as they could to help Sergio and his family through all this. It wasn't easy and at times, just damn hard, but I am very proud to say that we came together as a family and took care of our him. We loved him so- that will never stop. We will miss him forever until the day we can be united with him in Heaven.